Just as I suspected, there was no need for my alarm and I able to experience the unparalleled joy of sleeping in. My family never leaves when my poor mother “plans” to leave. We wanted to ship off no later than nine. We boarded our 14 passenger van, licensed “Da Clan,” an hour and a half later around ten-thirty. Standard.
Of course, prior to leaving, my younger sibling Diana always must make claim on seat territory. This time, she picked her battle with Kevin, loudest screamer in the family. Bad choice for he also happens to be one of mother’s favorites. Diana was supposedly in Kevin’s spot although Kevin wanted to sit in the very back. But Kevin’s feet were in Diana’s face etc. etc. The fight lasted for approximately fifteen minutes and was finally resolved by my poor father. Solution: Have Diana sit in my seat away from the screaming boy.
Within the first 5 minutes of our adventure, my father decides to explain to us how WW III is going to take place and how to survive if the Apocalypse were to occur within our lifetime.
Castro of Cuba has supposedly declared that WW III will be a nuclear catastrophe and that few will survive. My father, who is retired and has time for such research, believes he knows how to survive any situation. One must always keep a time-frame. Here are some survival tips for you all provided by Mr. Cochran.
How long can one survive without food? 3 weeks
How long can one survive without water? 3 days
How long can one survive in freezing water? 30 minutes
How long can one survive without air? 3 minutes
If we were to enter a nuclear war, one must wait approximately two weeks after the initial blast before coming in contact with the air for fear of radiation damage. Radiation damage consists of losing hair, bone erosion, brain reduction, among other various painful side effects. This lecture proceeded on for a good 40 minutes and we reached the conclusion that if we were to run out of food, the Chihuahuas would be our last resort.
Seaside usually only takes about 3 hours to reach from the Eugene area. For some inexplicable reason, we did not make it to Seaside until a whole 8 hours later. Some members of my family have bladders about the size of their brain…Actually, I truly believe that since my father possesses a small bladder, some of my siblings have inherited the same unfortunate trait. I only suffer from SBS (Shy Bladder Syndrome). It’s getting better though. No worries.
Once we arrived, I indulged on enough Chinese food to feed a whole Chinese village and proceeded to live the good life in the Hott tub. I love Seaside.
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