The other day I ventured to see Joan Jett, the 50 year old rocker who sings the old-time classic “I Love Rockin’ Roll,” at the Lane County Fair with a boy. Yes, a boy. Not just any boy in particular. We met in improv class and pretty much instantly clicked right after we performed our “Train Robbery” scene. I was a helpless damsel and he was a mute train robber who threatened to kill me. It was a hit, especially after he slapped on those hand-cuffs ;)
Did I mention he could play the bagpipes and dresses like Mel Gibson from Brave Heart for fun? I do believe we have potential but unfortunately, the date was something out of the unexpected. Let’s just say I’m bringing my little sister next time.
On the way to the fair though, something extremely odd occurred as I purchased my Pomegranate Vitamin water at the register situated inside our beloved WalMart. The lady in front of me, I kid you not, was buying 15+ massive containers of yogurt. All kinds of yogurt from strawberry, strawberry banana, to banana. It was as if this lady thought the world was soon going to undergo a yogurt scarcity of some sort. I’d be surprised if that WalMart has any yogurt left. Perhaps she was going to have an “All-Yogurt-Party” or she was pregnant and had uncontrollable yogurt cravings. Maybe she had 12 kids at home who had to be on an all-yogurt-diet? As my mind was racing with all these possibilities the clerk was also both curious and alarmed at this vast amount of yogurt. This was definitely enough yogurt to feed 20 people who had their wisdom teeth removed or perhaps enough to feed a small African country. She asked her what it was for but alas, I couldn’t hear the answer because the beep on the checking machine was too loud. I was crushed. But I never give up hope, so I asked the clerk if the lady had a child who had his teeth removed. She simply shook her head no and responded with zero emotion, “Her son does not like the texture of food and therefore, only consumes yogurt.”
I was completely distraught and could only feel sorry for this child’s bowel movements. God help him.
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