Bless Me Father, For I See You

For some odd reason, nothing produces a bigger feeling of awkwardness within me than seeing my priest outside of his usual priestly habitat. I know such occurences should not be uncomfortable but it just feels unnatural seeing one’s priest roaming around outside of church with the rest of us mere mortals. Especially at a hippie-infested congregation also known as the country fair or at the classy cheap theater, for the movie Prince of Persia no less.

Each time I see this 6’ 3’’ giant (making it impossible to miss him), the same thoughts run through my mind, “Do I say hello or save us both from embarrassment and exit quietly?” “Should I be here?” “Should he even be here?” “Why is he HERE?”

I first saw Father out of his holy domain at the renowned country fair. This is possibly the last place I would ever expect to see this man of God, besides a strip club of course. Unless he was trying to preach and convert the hippies, I just could not picture him here. Mostly because there happens to be many men and women who love to express themselves in unconventional ways such as painted ta-ta’s and wiener-socks. I am just thanking the dear Lord I refrained from wearing my bikini top that day. My stomach was looking rather bloated early that morning. If I saw Father with my bloated, exposed belly, I would have been mortified and pretty sure I would have found a new church to join.

I saw Father close to where the topless violinists were playing and he was in his full priestly attire making him appear like some white- robed preacher. All he was missing was a staff. Father was following some little old lady dressed in leaves and she was sporting a nice set of fairy wings. I really did love her glitter face paint though and wondered why Father didn’t have any on. I yelled at him from a distance and he came over with the fairy who I was introduced to and was told to address her by, “The Hemp Fairy.” Apparently, the “Hemp Fairy” has given my priest free tickets to the country fair for the past two years and Father just loves coming. I refrained from asking how they met mostly because I needed to escape from this awkward moment from hell. I simply said good bye to Father and the “Hemp Fairy” after a few minutes and prayed I would not run into that little duo again.

About a month later, I run into Father again at the movie theater for Prince of Persia. He was in normal clothes which was surprisingly uncomfortable for his legs are just so long. He was with some random group of people I have never seen before and I did not say hi this time. I’m pretty sure he heard me behind him though…where I sat the entire movie. That’s all right though. We had a silent understanding. I’m just hoping the next time I see him will be in church. Please.